Please accept with
no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious,
socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of
the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice,
with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others,
or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . .
. and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2019, but not
without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that
America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only
"AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer
platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
(By accepting this greeting,
you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or
withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original
greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to
perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period
of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever
comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of
a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)
10 Dec 2019
Hahahaha! And Happy Holidays to you too!
ReplyDeleteDid your lawyer draft this?
ReplyDeletehaha, no actually, years and years ago, a friend gave me a book - Politically Correct Holiday Stories edited by James Garner. Came from there.
DeleteHuh?!? Well at least you got everyone on that. But yeah, it does sound like a lawyer was at work there. Happy Christmas whatever to you, darlin.
ReplyDelete